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So we went back to the bar and hit the bottle again, but there was no tequila
Hmph. Regret to inform that HMS Piss the League was not permitted to dock at 12 Quays Terminal.
I’ve watched us play at Prenton Park approximately 846 times, and while we’ve had some great days out there (last season being right up there), we’ve played a LOT of games there that have been a kick in the guts/bollocks/minge. I hoped last Saturday would be the former; I feared we might be due the latter, especially after seeing the team news. Dropping Kavanagh, who’s been absolutely on fire so far this season? On his birthday? And starting Tom Hill, who hasn’t been in a matchday squad since Stoke away a month ago? It was a gamble, to say the least.
At least I got to have a nice raspberry Berliner Weisse in the Ship and Mitre before the game. Highly recommend it. Although ‘I Know Karate, Voodoo Too’ is a stupid name for a beer. I refused to call it that; I just pointed at the tap and said, ‘pint of that one please mate’.
Not today lad
We did make a reasonable start, albeit a painful one for Norburn, who had to go and have a dislocated finger pulled back into place on the touchline five minutes into the game. There’s nothing as dangerous as a wounded animal, and when he came back on, he immediately got booked for wiping out Charlie Whitaker. Kind of admirable, really.
It was a pretty even early on, with Hudson making a decent save from Dylan Jones, while we created a few chances and won a couple of set pieces. I worried that we’d gone far too early singing Tequila two minutes into the game and that it would come back to bite us on the arse, though, and sadly that was the case. They hit us on the break, Jones looked like he might have been offside, but our defenders weren’t catching him, and it was a clinical finish. Maybe Monthe would have had the pace to catch him, who knows.
We continued to create plenty of chances. Fawunmi made a great run past several defenders but couldn’t get his shot on target, then had a shot headed out for a corner, then had another shot from a long throw blocked. Appiah-Forson arguably should have gone down after a heavy challenge in the penalty area but stayed on his feet and had his shot saved; Drummond’s shot from the rebound hit Vaulks in the face. At this point I was thinking “I’ve seen this film before. The ending was rubbish and I hated it.”
The gamble with the starting line-up didn’t pay off, and after half-time Fondop and Kavanagh came on for Hill and Nevitt. We immediately looked more of a threat and won a corner, but Fawunmi’s delivery was uncharacteristically terrible and went into the side-netting. Tranmere’s number 5 seemed very keen to have a bit of a cuddle with Fondop, then flung himself to the floor when Mikey pushed him away.
Just over an hour in, the Tranmere keeper conceded a corner by taking too long to take a goal kick. First time I’ve seen that rule enforced, quite enjoyed it. Would have enjoyed it more if we’d managed to score from it, but it was becoming increasingly clear that was never going to happen.
Fawunmi made another tricky run into the box, Drummond scuffed his shot, Delaney hit the bar. Drummond had a shot from a corner that looked like it hit a Tranmere player’s hand; of course it didn’t get given. McGee made a brilliant save from Kavanagh after Scott-Morriss crossed the ball into the box, and Kavanagh couldn’t put away the rebound. It really was one of those days.
The ball hit Scott-Morriss’ hand as he was pushed in the back while challenging for a header in the box, and of course the referee gave that one. It probably was a penalty to be fair, but we’d been getting so little from the officials all afternoon, and it looked like he couldn’t wait to give that. And of course, Ironside put it away. Sigh.
We kept pushing. Golden boy Tom Ince was booked for fouling Kavanagh on the edge of the box, and Scott-Morriss’ free kick was tipped over the bar by McGee. There was a goalmouth scramble from the resulting corner, and the shot (I think from Fondop) was cleared off the line. It just would not go in. The Tranmere keeper was named man of the match, which tells its own story. At least we managed to get a taxi back to Liverpool fairly quickly. And the driver wasn’t a fucking headcase.
Tranmere fans like to say that we’re obsessed with them, but both times that we beat them last year, I went out and had a few drinks and a great night to celebrate. I didn’t spend all night glued to my phone trawling the TRFC hashtag replying to the most innocuous of tweets. I hope the reply guys in my mentions had a better night than their social media activity suggested.
(On the other hand, I hope that the one who repeatedly called me a ‘slag’ months ago had the shits, missed the game, and got his bellend caught in his zip.)
Mellon was understandably frustrated after the game, highlighting our 22 shots on goal: “they’ll say good blocks, we’ll say, got to be more clinical”. Apparently, the change to the starting line-up was because he wanted to get Drummond’s pace up front, and Hill was a natural replacement out wide. Hmmmmm. Lesson learned, hopefully.
Thank fuck for our women’s team, who fared considerably better, winning their opening league match 6-0 away at Stretford Paddock. Shannon Heffron, Chelsea Cook and Melody Seagrave scored a brace each. Emmy Neild praised the team spirit and work ethic and is optimistic for the rest of the season: “We know there’s still a long way to go but we’re definitely heading in the right direction towards promotion”. They take on Dukinfield Town at 2pm on Sunday on Little Wembley. Get down to cheer them on if you can. I assume you can bring cans.
📸 Oldham Athletic
The biggest victory this week belonged to Sophie Hunt, who on Monday completed an 860+ mile run from John O’Groats to Land’s End to raise money for Oldham Athletic Community Trust and Fullcircle. It’s an amazing achievement and she must have been in absolute agony by the end. Here’s to you, Sophie. If you can, please donate and help her to reach her £20,000 target.
On to Chesterfield at home today. It was a very enjoyable game at their place in March. When our captain played against them in March – for Notts County – he got a second yellow card 19 minutes into the game for throwing a Chesterfield player’s boot off the pitch. So who knows what banter awaits us today. It won’t be boring. Fingers crossed that Kane Drummond will, once again, be on fire. KTMFF.
Written by Arlene Finnigan
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